1 Corinthians 11:1-16 - Men and Women

God's way is different than the world's.  To comment on this chapter, especially in this generation, can be awkward - maybe much more than that - it may get you canceled.  Maybe the stakes were even higher in Paul’s generation.  Deriving God’s standards from Scripture and seeking His blessing as we adhere to them is essential.  This is especially so in the ever-raging culture wars over gender identity and gender expression, not to mention the church battles over women in preaching and senior pastor positions.

        Like a giant magnet, the pull to be liked and accepted by culture is strong.  I’ve heard preachers reference modern reality shows and the latest TikTok fads as they attempt to make themselves relevant, modern, hip, and cool.  You don’t impress because you are like the world.  Our kids don’t need another dose of the world.  Skinny pants are already overly prescribed.  You impress when you imitate Christ.  That is, Christians should expect to be different, countercultural if you will (Romans 12:2).

        Let’s be honest, this passage says things that won’t make you warmly received in most churches these days, never mind a feminist legal theory class in law school.  People attack this passage as irrelevant today due to ancient cultural mores or they attack Paul directly and do like Thomas Jefferson did, cut and paste what they don’t like.  I’m no theologian, I’m just a farm boy from Saskatchewan.  I’ve thought of this section often over the years.  I don’t seek to argue about it.  But I’m convicted that getting it wrong will negatively impact relationships and weaken the church.  Getting it right will bring God's blessing.

        It is popular and easy to ignore or overlook the biblical distinctions between men and women.   God never changes, nor do his standards for the Church.  We are to follow His way, the Way.  Let’s look at a few of the controversial claims in this passage.  It says that the head of a woman is her husband (v. 3), a woman dishonors her husband if she prays or prophecies in public without a covering on her head (v. 13), man is made in God’s image and reflects God’s glory, a woman reflects man’s glory (v. 7), the first woman came from a man (v. 8), the angels are watching our behavior, and for this reason, a woman should wear a covering to show she is under authority (v. 10)).  Did the angels stop watching?  Did God?  The passage also says a lot about men: our head is Christ, we dishonor Christ if we cover our heads while praying or prophesying, and we should not wear anything on our heads when worshiping.  Men, be careful who you defer to.  Make sure your only King is Jesus Christ.

What you believe about this passage puts you into the mix of the modern culture wars.  Let me unashamedly state my conviction.  I believe this passage sets a biblical principle that men and women are distinct - the only two genders as created by God.  And the principle also says that men and women must live in harmony, interdependently, while marking in all they do their proper roles, responsibilities, and limitations.

        I don’t downplay this passage as only culturally relevant to a different era nor do I attack the authors (Paul and Sosthenes) as somehow misogynistic.  It is not; they are not.  I believe this passage is somewhat of a litmus test for the modern Christian as to whether you are your own god or whether you trust God and defer your opinion to His order and standards.

I also believe the rest of the context of this passage (11:11-16) where Paul indicates that for the Christian the essential thing is that we are not, men and women, independent of each other.  We are interdependent.  Yes, men and women have different roles and responsibilities, but as we’ll find out in the next chapter we all are part of the body of Christ and we all receive various spiritual gifts.  My wife and I are one in Christ Jesus and equal before God (Galatians 3:28), yet I know that God is my authority and that he gives me the responsibility to be the spiritual leader in my family (1 Timothy 2 and 3, Ephesians 5 and 6, 1 Peter 3, Titus 1 and 2, Acts 10, Judges 5, Genesis 1 and 3, Titus 2, 1 Corinthians 14, etc.).  I’m an imperfect spiritual leader, blessed by the grace of God.  I have a worthy treasure of a wife (Proverbs 12:4), and we are equals before God.  This passage speaks to design, function, and authority.  It says nothing of intellectual or spiritual superiority.

        If you lord this passage over another person that is a sin, just as it is a sin to disregard this section and usurp an authority that is not yours (speaking to the men and the women).  I recently heard the President of a large organization publicly tell his wife, even though half-jokingly, that she should obey him, for once.  I’m disgusted and embarrassed by these so-called Christian men that misuse their authority and denigrate the name of our Lord and Savior.  Grow up.  Be the man and husband that Jesus expects us to be.

        I have a responsibility to spiritually lead my wife well, to love her, care for her, and serve her as Christ says I must (Ephesians 5).  I must encourage her to use her God-given gifts and never abuse or negatively impact her by dishonoring my authority, Jesus Christ.  In 30 years of marriage, I’ve never used spiritual authority to demand obedience.  I just haven't had to tell my wife she must do something because I said so.  Young men.  Let me speak to you.  We lead our families by servant leadership.  That means we actively love and serve.  We do not sit back.  We get up and lead, teach, pray, and work to earn the reputation as godly servants of Jesus Christ, husbands, and dads.  My wife and I know I am the spiritual leader in our family.  I wish I had taken that role more seriously over the years by leading better by what I said and did.  I’m so thankful to God that my wife has grown in Christ over the years and I’m amazed at how godly she is in her devotion to Scripture reading and to living out the life of a Christian woman, a godly woman.

        We’ve parented together as God intended (Proverbs 13:24), each with our unique roles and abilities.  I view my authority as Christ-given spiritual authority that requires me to be a servant leader.  To lead by showing, not demanding.  We’ve had challenges over the years with many decisions and I'm sure we've gotten many wrong.  I’ve always tried to pray together with my family for insight and direction on decisions big and small.  I also know that as the leader I am required to lead, and make decisions.  Do that daily.  But we must do so by seeking harmony.  I believe this passage and the next chapter show the importance, nay, the mark of the Christian, of living and working together in harmony.  We must do so in marriages and in the church.  You sing tenor.  She sings soprano.  When you sing together in harmony you produce a wonderful and pleasant sound.  It is powerful and life-changing, pleasing and pleasant to God.  And a fruitful blessing to your marriage.

Heady stuff.  God’s stuff.  The Bible says here that among the Lord’s people men and women are different, yet interdependent (v. 11).  Yes, we have different roles and responsibilities.  Women are to pray and prophesy publicly giving clear direction to the authority they are under (this is done by their showing of long hair as a covering or by an actual head covering (v. 15)).  This does not mean that women may be preachers or take on a church leadership role outside the bounds of Scripture ( 1 Corinthians 14:34, 1 Timothy 2:12), yet they, like every believer, must pray and share the truth with unbelievers and they must teach children and other women (1 Timothy 5:16 and Titus 2:3-4).  Yet we are united as husband and wife - the two become one.  We both depend on God.  God is the source of all that is good in my life and He alone will judge me at the hour of my death.  I know that my failures and successes as a spiritual leader have consequences.  I trust His promise that He will give me eternal life.  And that it will be marvelous, beyond comprehension.  Men, may we show by how we serve today that we know the love and grace of our Saviour.

        Thank you, God, for the treasure of my beautiful wife.  I know that she comes from You, woven together in her mother's womb.  Thank you for her humble love for You, Lord Jesus, and the way she honors You, God.  I’m so thankful that Kari-Lynn was baptized as a follower of Jesus Christ.  I know how much You love her Lord Jesus.  May I be worthy of this wonderfully made woman that I’m blessed to call my wife.  She is my pride and joy, as is my family.  May none of us do anything that will disgrace you, Lord God.  May we all show a good example in all we do today.  Amen. 

With our good friends, Todd and Tracy.