Self-Control
#Leadership
We men like to imagine ourselves steady, like a power forward who plants himself in front of the net, braces through hard checks, and bravely holds the screen no matter what comes. Yet how often do we get knocked off balance, cross-checked in the face, or speared by the goalie when we least expect it? In the pages of 1 Kings, we read of a dismal parade of rulers after Solomon, men who began with promise and ended in ruin. The common thread is painfully simple: they did not follow God with all their heart. Like Solomon himself, they chased after false gods, worldly pleasures, and power alliances until the kingdom fractured and the altars smoked with compromise.
There were exceptions, thank God, like King Asa, who “did what was right in the eyes of the Lord” and removed the idols, and Elijah, who stood alone on Carmel and cried out, “How much longer will you waver, hobbling between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him! But if Baal is God, then follow him!” But the people were completely silent" (1 Kings 18:21). The people wavered; and, wavering is the quiet death of our souls.
As we step into this new year, let us be brutally honest with ourselves, with one another, and above all with God. I write this not from some high tower of sanctity, but as a man who has known both the joy of surrender to Christ and the shame and frustration of betrayal. This very week has been a battlefield: moments of real grace, progress in prayer, planning, and consistency, and then, suddenly, old sins rise and easily impede my good example. The devil does not need to invent new temptations; he simply reminds us of what effectively gets our attention. And we listen, we waver, and we find ourselves once again the double-minded man James warns of, unstable in all our ways (James 1:8).
Look at James 4:2-3, that mirror held up to our motives: “You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.” How piercingly true. We scheme for what we want, chase shadows of pleasure, and pretend it is all compatible with discipleship. Yet God knows better. When we waver, half in Christ, half in the world, we receive nothing from the Lord, because we ask with divided allegiance.
The practical consequences are stark. When a man heeds God fully, blessing flows to his house. When he listens to the serpent’s voice, the poison spreads. Ahab got his heart’s desire, Jezebel, power, and alliances, but it cost him everything eternally. He gained the woman, the throne, the wealth, and lost his soul to her idols.
Scripture is no mere history book; it is water in the desert, pointing us to Christ (John 5:39). The Church He founded, the one, holy, catholic, and apostolic, has endured two thousand years not by compromise, but by the Holy Spirit’s unyielding guidance through teachings, miracles, saints, and sacraments.
So here is the challenge, brothers, and I speak it first to myself: Do not waver. As leaders of our households, let us plan with clarity, investments, budgets, careers, yes, but far more, the daily discipline of the soul. Be clear thinkers, effective communicators, and trusted teachers. Above all, be men who follow Christ without reservation.
As I near 55, I see more sharply who I do not want to be: the half-hearted servant, the man who warms to the world’s pleasures and cools toward the truth of Christ our King. I know my weaknesses too well, and they are not pretty. I need growth in self-control, in purity, in simple obedience. Yet I also know the strengths God has given, and I dare to ask boldly for what I long to become: a simple man, adventurous yet grounded, a learner, explorer, leader by example, wise steward, flourishing father and husband, fit in body and soul, expert in counsel, disciple-maker, warrior who never quits, bold through to the gates of heaven with no thought of retreat. Unafraid. Willing. Committed.
Ask God this year to place you on the team He chooses, to bring you into conversations that matter, where you pour out your life and listen deeply to others. Ask Him to guard you from dysfunction, from the endless self-talkers who never lift a finger for anyone else. Do not envy what others possess or who they pretend to be. See the devil’s schemes for the poison they are: lies, manipulation, the nauseating spectacle of the powerful, the entitled, and those long removed from hunger, from empty bank accounts, from sickness, the aristocracy of comfort, who throw the young, the vulnerable, and the struggling under the bus for their own convenience and security. God forbid we join that parade. Our “no” to such betrayal must ring out like a bell; our “yes” to Christ must be absolute.
Imagine a year of intentional living: helping others, joyful conversation, laughter that refreshes, learning, building, waking sober and clear-headed with ideas cascading for the Kingdom. That is worth striving for. Love and serve your wife responsibly, our God demands it. Treasure the rare advocates, the praying mother, the faithful friend, God our Father, who truly helps us fulfill His will. Shun those who would entangle us in get-rich-quick empires or manipulation.
I pray my friends, my family, myself, and our nation: Keep us in a full, unreserved relationship with Jesus. No half-measures. He knows our motives. He stands at the door, knocking, not to judge from afar, but to dine with us, amid the joy of our grandchildren running wild at family dinner. Welcome Him in. Honor Jesus in thought, word, and deed.
Thank you, Jesus, for teaching us by Your life, Your passion, Your Church. Help us yearn for You alone, without wavering. Grant us the grace to follow You wholeheartedly, as sons of the one true Church. Amen.
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