What a blessing it is to get a note or a call from a dear friend. Dear friends are a gift from God. God has given us time together in various stages of our lives to love each other, serve and help each other understand God's goodness, model servant leadership, fellowship, celebrate, and mourn and comfort each other in times of sickness and death.
As Anne of Green Gables would say, we want the best for our dear friends - our bosom friends. We love to spend time with them. We share our successes and our struggles. And if we are fortunate God gives us friends who unconditionally love us. Yes, they know our oddities, quirks, failures, foibles, and sins. And yet they pray earnestly for us - they love us anyway.
Dear friends pray for us when they think of us. We may not have seen them or have talked to them in years. They may live thousands of miles away from us, but we are still bound together in Christ’s love.
Dear friends encourage each other. We sometimes just need our friends to listen and to share our burdens. I think back to some of my conversations with my friends over the years, how I’ve said stupid things, bragged or failed God by my stubbornness. I’m thankful for the grace and mercy (and the kicks in the butt) that my dear friends have given me.
I had a friend recently tell me that he has almost no friends. Sadly, that’s the reality for many of us men in the Church. To get a friend, be a friend. Be like Anne Shirley of Green Gables (she told Dianna that she wanted to be a friend, that she had dreamed and prayed for a friend). Okay, maybe that's extreme, but it is okay. Be vulnerable. Be willing to tell others how much you appreciate them and how much you yearn for real friendship. Loneliness is an epidemic in the church. And it is not Jesus' way. It is not good for us to be alone.
I’ve always been impressed with how easily my dad makes friends. He makes it look easy. He’s a man of very few words. He shows his love by his actions. He has made many lifelong friends in every stage of his life. He expects nothing in return from his friends. He helped them, baked for them, dug graves, wired homes, called them with words of encouragement, visited hospital beds, built homes, planted their crops (and harvested their crops), fixed their skidoos, and all the other things Northern Saskatchewan farmers do. He’s always there for his friends. I’ll never forget the bravery my dad showed for his dear friend Hal at Hal’s funeral. It was a tragic, terrible death. But Dad got up and gave a loving eulogy to his dear friend as the rest of us wept and mourned. Being a dear friend takes the loving bravery and courage of Christ.
Jesus showed us in word and deed what it means to be a dear friend. Jesus said this in John 15:13 and I have no doubt that John thought of it daily, “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
Dear friends speak highly of each other and we do so with a clear conscience because we know their character and how they testify to the truth of Christ. They are not perfect - and neither are we. Dear friends forgive and give each other grace - as it has been given to us by our Father in heaven through the Son, Jesus Christ.
We hear in Third John the need to tell our dear friends the truth in love. That is as much a risk today as it ever has been. I’ve lost friends by telling them the truth. Take the risk and tell the truth. Always in love. Don't be a jerk. Be a dear friend.
John takes that risk here and encourages Gaius to keep living according to the truth of Jesus. He encourages Gaius to continue his loving friendship with those he is serving - being a partner with those serving Christ. We are in service in common with a view to make a great harvest of disciples of Jesus Christ. That’s the partnership of Christian friendship.
John warns Gaius of the false teachers and the evil church leadership. The church, sadly, has many who strive for personal ambition. They care nothing of others and they know nothing of genuine Christian friendship.
Do not be a Diotrephes. Be a Demetrius. Do not become a partner in the evil work of those with selfish ambitions. Dear friends remind each other not to follow such bad examples or let them influence us at all. Refuse to imitate such men and do not invite them into your home. On the other hand, for dear friends, show them the utmost hospitality. When was the last time your dear friends invited you into their home for fellowship? Be the friend that does the inviting.
John reminds Gaius of Demetrius’ good example and his good reputation. Strive for that. We all need good examples. We are often surprised at whom God uses as His good examples. Many are coming to Christ today not from celebrity pastors or those so-called Christian leaders with seven-figure base salaries. God uses the weak to shame the strong, He uses the repentant sinner to show His glory and His majesty.
Dear friend, thank you for your friendship. Keep going. Keep fighting the good fight for Jesus Christ. Fight, fight, fight! People speak highly of you and rightly so. You have earned your good reputation in Jesus Christ by the way that you serve our Lord and Saviour. Keep it up. Support those who genuinely teach the truth.
Dear Jesus, you are our example. Thank you for the gift of friends. May we not take them for granted. Please give us dear friends to work alongside us. Help us to work hard today. And help us to be united in your love and truth. Help us to be the dear friends that you want us to be. Amen.
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